Dear Carli,

A close friend recently suffered a tragic loss in their family. I’ve noticed they’ve been really depressed lately and I want to help her out. What can I do to cheer her up without bringing it up?

-Sympathetic friend

Dear Sympathetic friend,

Losing a member of someone’s family is a touchy subject, no matter how long it has been since the loss. Bringing up the occasion will most likely only worsen the situation, therefore it is safest to stay away from talking about anything that is affiliated with it. Instead, hint around the situation. Ask your friend questions about their life to show you are there to listen and support him/her. By gradually proving that you are a trusted, helpful friend, he/she will feel more comfortable to share their intimate feelings with you. The best gift you can give a friend in a time of need is a shoulder to cry on and an ear to tell their problems to.

-Carli

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