Dear Carli’s Corner,

I feel like I am always in competition with one of my friends. We have known each other since elementary school and are involved in many of the same sports, classes, and activities. While I usually feel like we get along as friends and talk to each other, whenever there is an opportunity for her to try to “beat” me at something, she seems to want to challenge me in order to brag about it later. This isn’t a healthy challenge, though, because I often feel like she takes it personally or gets angry if I end up doing better. I want to stay friends with her, but I can’t handle her constant competition. What should I do to let her know?

-Reluctant Competitor

Dear Reluctant Competitor,

The next time you and your friend start competing, take a step back and analyze the situation you’re in. If she’s really your friend, it shouldn’t matter who wins, who loses, who’s better or who’s worse. Talk to her and tell her how you’re feeling; if you never show the discomfort within your relationship, she’ll never fully know. A friend is someone who celebrates with you when you succeed, not someone who hopes you fail just so he/she can brag that they’re better than you at something. As long as you have realized a more mature approach to this situation, such as telling her how you feel and how you want to stop the never-ending competitions between you two, things should work out. If they don’t, you might want to reconsider your friendship with her. I mean, what’s a friend when they’re not there to congratulate you when you’re victorious and comfort you when you’re not?

-Carli

Have a problem? E-mail Carli at [email protected].