Dear Natalie,
My problem is that I have a boyfriend, but the thing is that my parents don’t allow me to have a boyfriend and my grades are bad. My mom is on my space every second, so sometimes I feel really bad because I just don’t know what to do and get more confused then I already am. Then there’s my older brother. He’s been trying to find out what’s up with me and my new boy and it’s awkward. He promised to not say anything until I raised my grades. I just feel like its way too much to handle but I don’t want to break up with him. Can you please help me figure out how to get my grades up and be all right with my parents, brother and my boyfriend?
—Secret Boyfriend
Dear Secret Boyfriend,
This is a whole lot to handle and I completely understand why you are so stressed out about it. Firstly though I would focus on your grades. School is incredibly important and you should push hard to do the best that you can. Stay after with teachers if you feel like you don’t understand their material or feel like you are falling behind in their class. Also, try prioritizing. You should put your school work ahead of hanging out with your boyfriend. You can hang out with him anytime, but you will not have as many chances to make up an F on a test or a missing assignment. Having good grades would also help in getting your parents to listen to what you have to say because then you can show them that you having a boyfriend is in fact not a bad thing but rather a good thing. It would seem like your boyfriend is influencing you to get good grades which of course is never bad.
I would not keep your boyfriend a secret for too long however. If your parents find out before you have a chance to tell them they will think you were sneaking around and lying to them which will make them angry and less understanding of your situation. If you are honest with them and tell them that he is a good influence for you and that you feel like you are responsible and mature enough to handle a relationship, they will be more likely to agree with you or at least come to a compromise with you.
Finally, in dealing with your brother that is never easy. He will always be a very overprotective person in your life because he feels that is his job. Think of it as a compliment and realize that he is only trying to help you. If he will not back off then just tell him that you would rather keep you and your boyfriend’s relationship private but thank him for being interested.
—Natalie
Have a problem? E-mail Natalie at [email protected]
