We all feel embarrassed by our partners at one time or another; however, if this embarrassment is prevalent more often than not, some reflection might be a good idea.

Assess your motivations for being with this person. Ask yourself if you are with this person because you couldn’t say no or did not want to be alone. If you answered “yes,” break up with them. That may be harsh, but it seems like you do not have a true connection with this person and should find an alternative source of comfort in your life.

If, upon reflection, you decide you have a genuine connection with them one-on-one and only feel ashamed in social settings, there are several things you can do depending on what elicits this embarrassment from your partner.

If the embarrassment is caused by an uncontrollable factor like physical appearance, economic status, intelligence, or skills there is not much you can do to change them, meaning the issue stems from your own insecurity. You are most likely afraid that your partner will tarnish your reputation and how you look to others.

Instead, focus on how they make you feel one-on-one, and understand that as a separate person from you, they do not define you.

“You think others are judging you on your choice of partner, but if you had loads of confidence, you simply wouldn’t care,” says counselor Fiona Caine.

If the issue is caused by a controllable factor like behavior, communicate with them about how you feel when they exhibit those actions and listen to their perspective and understand the reasoning in return. This may lead to an agreement about how to make those situations more comfortable for you.
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