Perhaps one of the greatest endeavors and undertakings in life is the understanding of who you are. The acceptance, or defiance, of the conditions and characteristics placed upon us combining with our own emerging, yet inherent personality is a work to behold.
The evolving identity is an entity of its own, one that people work with as their lives unfold. “I personally have changed a lot over the years, but I don’t realize myself changing,” senior Hung Truong said. “It’s only when you take the time to look at yourself, you realize how much you change, and are changing. When I do, I try to revel in my journey.”
A sense of identity is not easy to obtain. It is a struggle to figure out who you are. “In my life, I have definitely grown more tolerant of people and understood them more, which has helped me understand myself. My experiences have shaped my outlook on life and myself,” senior Tatiana Vanegas said.
The battle between self and external conditions and experiences never ceases, making a sense of identity even more difficult to realize.
“Most people are ruled by others’ expectations of them. They aren’t doing what they really want. People accept this sometimes because they feel like they belong and are safe,” Truong said. “I try not to think about how others think of me, or any external labels. It doesn’t matter who others think I am, but only that I know who I am.”
External factors like family, society and religion are common in affecting the way people identify themselves.
“I was raised in a Roman Catholic family, Sunday school and all. As I begin to get older, my family’s beliefs contrast with my own developing beliefs,” junior Angela Manalac said. “It is hard trying to [accommodate] and balance my religion and my changing identity of self. I usually try to ignore parts of my faith that do not support my own beliefs, and people who conflict with them.”
When we first jump into the world, we are barraged with masks to put on and the multitude of people wearing them.
“I’m still trying to find who I am. So many things are going on now [that are affecting me]. It’s hard to find yourself in there. As we grow up, we start to find our own paths, away from everyone else,” Venegas said.
Most people identify themselves with both external and internal aspects, but for different reasons.
“I take part of both of my upbringing and my internal beliefs because I think that aside from the politics of modern issues and conflicts society is having, we all have needs and rights that should be universally understood,” Manalac said.
Naturally, there exist moments where a person realizes what she is—short and sweet epiphanies of understanding.
“I was in Lynchburg for Governor’s School. When I was just hanging out and talking to friends, I came to spontaneously understand that I wanted to be a scientific researcher, studying biochemistry and horticulture. It was a great feeling and I still want to follow this road,” Truong said.
The nature of these revelations come often in times of great change, when one’s sense of identity is being challenged. “Moving to Annandale from inner-city D.C. was a fresh start for me. I could feel myself emerging from all that I was before, I felt like I was a new person,” Vanegas said.
Sometimes, these discoveries arise amidst periods of turbulence, leading to hopeful ambitions. “When I was three, my mother died of breast cancer. She did everything for my family and is an inspiration to me. I knew I wanted to be just like her when she passed, helping people, and helping my family,” Manalac said.
Yet, people can seldom learn to soar without striving, and straining, against harsh winds.
“I have doubts about who I want to be though, just like everyone else, because of social pressures and stereotypes. I just try day after day to prove to myself that I can do what I want, and that I am who I am,” Malalac said.
Droplets of rain are meant to fall into oceans. The beauty though, is that they are never really lost. They are merely obscured by the vast bodies that engulf them. They return back to the sky and the clouds eventually, becoming aware they are individuals, perhaps cascading down again in the form of a unique snowflake.
