Ages 14-18 all in one school. On one hand, you’ve got eager kids straight out of middle school, and on the other, you have almost full-grown adults walking in the same halls. Don’t forget about the middle ground, the kids who are stuck in the purgatory of the high school experience and still have a ways to go.
When it comes to forming relationships in high school there should be a limit to who should be with who. But of course, there isn’t, people have free will. However, I’d like to offer a rule of thumb or a guiding principle to go by; If the grades don’t touch, neither should you.
The fact that everyone is in the same school together is what makes this issue controversial. People think that since we’re all in high school it shouldn’t matter, well I disagree.
I’ve always told my friends that if there’s an upperclassman dating an underclassman, there’s probably a reason for it. Whether it’s that they like the power dynamic of dating a younger person, or maybe it’s that they couldn’t find anyone in their own grade, both are concerning and should set off some alarms in your brain.
The same goes for an underclassman who’s dating an upperclassman. Why not just find someone in your grade? Wouldn’t that be ideal?
When I talk about these “unacceptable” relationships, I’m referring to a multiple-year age gap. I do think it’s okay for a freshman to go out with a sophomore, or a junior to go out with a senior, etc. because in those relationships there might even be an age overlap: a time when both parties are of the same age, even though they’re in different grades.
I’m not hating on anyone’s relationship or wishing for anyone to break up, I’m just saying skipping grades is where I draw the line. It all comes down to maturity levels. When you’re in high school, you’re gaining experience and life knowledge at an exponential rate.
Legally as long as you’re under 18, you can date whoever you want but think about the difference between a freshman and a senior. It could just be a 3-year difference, but not only do they look different physically, mentally, and emotionally they’re in completely different stages of life.
People like to compare their high school relationship’s age gap to that of their parents’ relationship, which doesn’t add up. After you’re 18, you’re considered an adult which is a whole other ball game. Age gaps in adult relationships are much more insignificant. In high school, kids are becoming more mature and learning faster than adults do so an age gap matters more.
When I look back on who I was as a freshman or even sophomore, I think about how much I’ve grown and learned. You’ve probably heard it before but “they’re so mature for their age” isn’t a good excuse because let’s be honest, they’re probably not. Personally, as a senior, I wouldn’t date freshman or sophomore me.
